Future You - Episode 75
Posted by Tim
Low/No-fuel variations:
Mow the lawn Manually - this post
Mow the lawn Annually - chagrin your neighbors
Mow the lawn Financially - okay, pay the neighbor’s kid
Mow the lawn Sickle-ly - arming your yard, comrade
Mow the lawn Goat-ually - a baahhh idea or goatally awesome?
Mow the lawn Event-ually - yeah-yeah, I’ll get to it… After this event.
Moe, the lawn - you knucklehead. Why I oughta…
To help you ‘Mow the lawn manually,’ here’s a simple 2-step process:
Your Future You prevents ‘old curmudgeon slippage’ by embracing activities such as spending more time in nature, ‘Mow the lawn manually’, and giggle at old slapstick comedies. The reduced noise and reduced fuel makes your Future You’s time in the yard enjoyable facilitating mowing with ease and aplomb. This also prevents your Future You from becoming ‘future you curmudgeon’ who tactically monitors all the kids’ near-footsteps while playing socc- “Hey you!!! Hey YOU kids! Get off my lawn!!!”
P.S. - It’s been reported that Corporate Housing Companies help people ‘Mow the lawn manually’ by not needing our guests to mow the lawn… at all… not Manually nor Goat-ually. Symbolically, corporate housing companies mow down ‘transition-friction’ lawns, like slicing hot blades through buttery grass - providing our guests with joyful, lemonade-sippable, relaxing furnished monthly rentals that you’ll want to stretch out upon and enjoy the joyful sunshine. Don’t forget the umbrel-... Hey, you kids! Yeah, you. Come play on my lawn!
Why does this ‘Future You’ Series exist? What’s it about?
https://parade.com/1300935/stephanieosmanski/ways-reduce-carbon-emissions/
Lawns aren't great for the planet in general—with lawns consuming 3 trillion gallons of water a year—but if you have one and you have to mow it, it's best to go manual. Electric mowers, of course, take 200 million gallons of gas per year, and there's even some proposed legislation to make lawnmowers greener.